The update with tears on it..
4 months ago
– Thu, Nov 27, 2025 at 03:32:42 AM
What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets. - Count Dracula (Symphony of the Night)
Writing this update is a bit like unzipping my skin. Will my secrets fly out effortlessly on deep purple butterfly wings or fester in my feet like a congealed mass of long dead toads?
I apologize in advance, this update is not for the squeamish. I woke up at 3 am and just started writing 😉
My Google Drive folder of half-baked ttrpg ideas, “The Experiments”, was for my partner and my local gaming group's eyes only. That changed when Andrea and I began working on Witches of Midnight in 2021. We knew this game had an audience, had our passion, and could mean something to this hobby. We also knew we hit the zeitgeist in a way our ‘Experiments’ never had before, and when we met Morningstar / The Cytherean and started streaming, we truly knew that we had something special.
But then, I made some mistakes when calculating our goal for the Kickstarter. I set the goal far too low. I was obsessed with the aesthetic of $6,666 when I knew (even on paper) that we needed $18-22k to do everything we set out to.
Before we went live on KS, we talked it over as a team and decided that even if we only hit our low goal, we could accept having to spend $10k from our own pockets.. though, we didn't have that 10k in advance (not in the bank or even a retirement fund). But, back in those days I made a "good salary" in a "stable industry" and we were willing to cut back our lifestyle if necessary to see this game published. We never truly expected to make any profit.
By the end of the Kickstarter, we felt kinda lucky that we had split the difference in what we needed vs the goal at $12k ($10.4k after KS fees). We were really excited and happy to contribute roughly $6k of our own money to make our dream real, so we didn't worry much in the months that followed.
When it finally arrived, we used the Kickstarter money to pay most of our freelancers, and then we started seriously looking at printing costs (real numbers from printing companies, not my early projections). We realized that we needed bulk printing to keep costs reasonable (250 to 500 copies), but we only needed ~150 books to ship to backers. No worries, we thought, we can just have more books printed at a lower per-item price and sell the extra books on our own site later. We even thought, “heck, if all goes well we might break even”. We ordered our custom pins and started to hammer out a deal for the custom dice sets.
That's when the tariffs got announced. Printing prices nearly doubled overnight. Fluctuating shipping prices had been our primary worry before/during the Kickstarter, but now literally everything was up in the air.
A week later, the company I worked for canceled my $135k/yr contract as a cost saving measure due to the uncertainty caused by the tariffs.
Over the last 19 months I've only been gainfully employed for 4. We saved every penny we could, but eventually it all ran out and we had very little of Witches of Midnight: a complete manuscript, a half-complete tarot deck (on schedule), a basic layout for the book and a box of sweet Balsamic Games pins.
Throughout all of this we have been taking care of 5 kids, 2 of whom are mid-transition. I went from being a web programmer to a full time farmer (who still hasn't managed to sell a single thing he's grown). Andrea makes and sells jewelry and clothing online over at https://wyldwoodway.com (and is every bit as much a farmer as I am). She is currently considering making some custom Witches of Midnight jewelry pieces, if anyone wants to bookmark her shop.
Obviously, the orange bloviating hobgoblin plays a major role in all of this, but I take the blame fully on myself. To be honest, I didn't know life could get this hard. Despite all that, and no holiday celebrations this year for us, we are actually very happy. Not comfortable, but content in many ways.
We are currently fighting to keep access to our family's transportation that we have no tangible means to pay for while additional taxes seem to come due as soon as we manage to pay the last one, but otherwise our primary care is being provided for us by an anonymous benefactor.
Now, back to Witches of Midnight..
We believe in this game and the effort, money, sweat and love you all have put into it alongside us. We have every intention of making this a physical product and getting it to your doorsteps without ever asking for another penny, but we need more time to make that a reality.
I'm sorry if this is meandering or confusing to read, it's probably about to get worse.
We recently re-watched Midnight Mass and Step 4 of the process a character goes through there really stuck with me. I need to apologize to those I've wronged; whether the wrong was intentional or not. Not to unburden myself, but to create an honest space between us for healing. I'm sorry for my missteps and I want to make it right.
If you feel personally wronged, and you have every right to, please leave a public comment below or email me privately at [email protected] and you can blow off some steam or ask for restitution as you see fit. Bear in mind that I cannot offer anyone a monetary refund, but I can offer you a promise that as soon as we are able to move forward with printing and shipping, we will.
I love making and running games, but I have precious little energy left at the end of the day for streams, and our Discord community has more or less dried up. We're willing to entertain any ideas you have for us moving forward (and if any of you know of remote jobs for young entry-level adults or seasoned web devs, we'd love to hear about those as well).
One more thing.. I'm thinking of starting an online weekly one page TTRPG Game Jam and I'd love to hear from any of you who might be interested. Please email me at [email protected] for that as well.
With love & heartfelt apology,
-Gavin
